It had been a STRETCH, eking out her pension what with the excesses of Christmas coming and all, but Doreen Klaxon swore that this was the very last time she would shop at this particular chain.
She refused to shop at “Moreaus” any more.!
Oh the staff were polite enough and all, she couldn't fault their impeccable manners,
(and believe me she really wanted to!) But she just didn't give a hoot how graciously the staff intruded on her shopping, even if they did start by politely saying, "Allow me, madam."
She also cared little that the store's owner was apparently once a doctor. But as she STRETCHED for an own-brand-basics packet of birdseed, the thing she just couldn’t bring herself to accept was the store’s openly (and in her mind quite blatant) equal inter-species-staffing policy.
(and believe me she really wanted to!) But she just didn't give a hoot how graciously the staff intruded on her shopping, even if they did start by politely saying, "Allow me, madam."
She also cared little that the store's owner was apparently once a doctor. But as she STRETCHED for an own-brand-basics packet of birdseed, the thing she just couldn’t bring herself to accept was the store’s openly (and in her mind quite blatant) equal inter-species-staffing policy.
No-one could accuse her of being “Specist”
she thought to herself…
After all, some of her best friends were
budgies and cockatiels; but they knew their place and belonged in cages as pets, and pets they should stay!.
She was always quite complimentary about the service she'd received, when she was asked at the checkout.
"They were all really helpful and lovely!" She sometimes almost boasted, with a smug display of faux altruism.
(from a distance, as long as they were more “normal” looking, didn’t eat funny, smelly food… and kept to their own kind."Ugh..! Smelly animals!") Was what she secretly thought.
"They were all really helpful and lovely!" She sometimes almost boasted, with a smug display of faux altruism.
(from a distance, as long as they were more “normal” looking, didn’t eat funny, smelly food… and kept to their own kind."Ugh..! Smelly animals!") Was what she secretly thought.
Of course, in these latter years of perceived rampant political correctness gone mad she had to keep
those thoughts to herself, but she was certain it wasn’t like that in her day!
"Change may be inevitable, but it doesn't always mean it's for the best! "She assured herself with her hackneyed mantra, as she grumbled toward the bus stop, myopically unaware of her own heady malodorous cocktail of violets, mothballs and more than just a trace of stale urine.... Indeed; these days, it was a STRETCH for Doreen to have a good word to say about anyone!
For the most part, the staff were just glad she kept to herself... and her own kind. (Or maybe they were just being ageist?)
"Change may be inevitable, but it doesn't always mean it's for the best! "She assured herself with her hackneyed mantra, as she grumbled toward the bus stop, myopically unaware of her own heady malodorous cocktail of violets, mothballs and more than just a trace of stale urine.... Indeed; these days, it was a STRETCH for Doreen to have a good word to say about anyone!
For the most part, the staff were just glad she kept to herself... and her own kind. (Or maybe they were just being ageist?)
Hah, I love the story behind the picture, great take for this week topic!
ReplyDeleteThanks very much Francesca.
ReplyDeleteI really like this Mark. The story and the amazing illustration!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment and for viewing, it's much appreciated.
DeleteThats impressive illustrating..I like your twists on the subject word..
ReplyDeleteThank you very much indeed, that's a lovely thing to say about my illustrating! I'm sincerely flattered.
DeleteI was already quite taken by the illustration, but the story takes it to a whole other level. Impressive!
ReplyDeleteThank you, what a splendid comment to receive, I'm very grateful!
ReplyDeletegreat story and cool illustration! well done!
ReplyDeleteMany thanks for the great comment.
ReplyDeleteHi Mark.
ReplyDeleteAnother twisted tale & illustration - well done! I can understand your respect for Mark Gatiss. Was thinking you have stuff in common with him. You were saying that you're not a born children's illustrator, but Dr Who is popular with children. My 8 year-old nephew is a fan, and that's got scary things combined with humour, like the stuff you do.
There are lots of scary books for older juniors or even teens. Even 'picture' books like by Lane Smith (though I thought he did Wolves in the Wall - but that was Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean). ...or rather books by Neil Gaiman or that hardly known writer Roald Dahl...
Hope your mood lightens - but not TOO much if that is how you produce the work you do. I quite often like staying at home, and hate going out even to the post box.
Keep up the good work (sorry if this sounds like a counselling session.
PS Thanks for your comments on my presumably dodgy* giraffe (with his especially dodgy 'arm').
*Unlike you with your illustration, I don't know his back story.
Thank you Frances for your lovely, and supportive comment. It is appreciated.
ReplyDelete